New York Seltzers

Do you guys remember New York Seltzers?  The blueberry ones were the bomb.  Has it ever occurred to you that we were drinking the best mixers on earth without the booze?  -- Joe

Sting Ring

Have Cherie pick you up a box of Otter Pops...use Cienna's ass wipes and buttpaste!  What the hell did you eat?  -- Joe

Cousin's Wedding

I'm in St. Louis for my cousin's wedding...was HAMMERED at the rehersal and accidentally smart-assed the priest!  -- Joe

Day Off

There is just something so magical about listening to Freebird...in the airport...while the little bastards are on their way to school!  -- Joe

Chili Fart

I think that the gas from the chili is coming out of my pores...I'm like a walking cloud of fart smell...soooooo gross.  -- Joe

War on Rats Pt. 8

Situation report:  Attack and capture of rats has taken the night off.  Zero kills or captures and attack by ants was squelched when I hosed the biggest damn Ho Chi Minh trail of ants I have ever seen with ant spray!  It was AWESOME!!!  Maximum kills, minimum effort.  -- Joe

War on Rats Pt. 7

Damn VC rats...I can't kill them now...it's light out and he can see me...he looked right at me...poor little f'er...I heard rats are cannibals.  -- Joe

War on Rats Pt. 6

Moral dilema.  The A-Team has a hostage.  A rat on the glue trap is very alive do I...a) kill it with a shovel or b) use it as bait for other rats tonight.  -- Joe

War on Rats Pt. 5

Faceman got another one...those alligator traps are brutal!  -- Joe

War on Rats Pt. 4

Well it looks like Murdock got one!  A little baby mouse on a glue trap...gonna leave him for the morning.  On the flip side...the other glue trap was gone!  -- Joe

War on Rats Pt. 3

I am dealing with VIET CON rats.  They picked 4 out of the 6 traps clean without setting off a single one...they may have won the battle but I WILL WIN THE WAR.  -- Joe

War on Rats Pt. 2

It appears as though the rats have overrun my tomato fortified positions...rat's 3, me none.  I am going to get some of those clamp traps and use tomatoes tomorrow.  -- Joe

War on Rats Pt. 1

Besides a shit show...I have rats eating my tomatoes.  I killed one earlier today.  I have setup kill zones Alpha through Foxtrot...3 tomatoes and 3 peanut butter  -- Joe