Thursday, January 20, 2011
Skinny Jean Cut Offs
Just saw a dude in skinny jean cut offs...as if skinny jeans weren't stupid, someone had to make shorts out of them. And as if that wasn't stupid, someone had to wear them when it is 40 degrees outside. --Eric
Thursday, January 13, 2011
A Beer Sucker Punch Cont.
Fuck, that's your window, Matt. He just admitted he reads epicurious magazine. Sweep the leg!!
--Eric
A Beer Sucker Punch Cont.
According to epicurious magazine, belgian beers pair best with a dick flavored cigars. -- Joe
A Beer Sucker Punch Cont.
Belgian beers are homing beacons for gay-dars...take a "beer", typically a masculine drink, throw a wedge of fruit in it, and poof....everyone in the room knows you smoke the pole 3 at a time. Nice job Florence Nightengale. -- Joe
A Beer Sucker Punch Cont.
Actually, Chuck would just stare at you, growl, and then bottle would break. --Eric
A Beer Sucker Punch Cont.
Niether Chuck Norris nor Jack Bauer would drink a Belgian. They would punch you in the throat if you offered them one. -- Joe
A Beer Sucker Punch Cont.
Its all fun and games until that midget hits the ground, runs after you, kicks you in the shin, and then head butts your balls. --Eric
A Beer Sucker Punch Cont.
Belgian beers are for guys who find no humor in the concept of midget tossing...I thought I knew you.
--Joe
--Joe
A Beer Sucker Punch Cont.
Come to think of it, belgian beers are also for guys with names that could be masculine or feminine.
If you research the brewing process, it's actually the most simple beer to brew. You drink good beer all day, like an ale, you piss in the empty bottles, cap it and voila! You just made a Belgian beer.
--Joe
If you research the brewing process, it's actually the most simple beer to brew. You drink good beer all day, like an ale, you piss in the empty bottles, cap it and voila! You just made a Belgian beer.
--Joe
A Beer Sucker Punch Cont.
Belgian beers are for guys who wear aprons when they cook to hide their tampon strings and their ginormous lips.
Sack up junior, grow a scrote and stick to the ales. --Joe
Sack up junior, grow a scrote and stick to the ales. --Joe
A Beer Sucker Punch
It really sucks when you find out your favorite "craft brewery" is actually a giant.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Moon_%28beer%29
--Matt
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Moon_%28beer%29
--Matt
Useless Home Upgrades Cont.
I'm in on this shit...
If installing a moat, bypass the bridge and just hire a scary looking guy like The Undertaker to "ferry" people across.
Indoor waterfall, lazy river, sweet pool and grotto: the waterfall would be in the entry way of the house and the lazy river would spiral throughout, exiting into the backyard and finishing off into another waterfall that spills into a pool. Behind this waterfall is a hot tub, similar to the features of the playboy mansion's grotto
Ghost town with Saloon: saw this on Dale Earnhart Jr's Cribs episode. He had a full on old west "ghost town" complete with a Saloon that had a bar and game room.
Look Out tower w/ R. Lee Ermy: this is based on previous entries. For those who want to protect their property, you can station yourself up there with a paintball gun, cannon, or M16 assault rifle and really keep people off your lawn. When you wanted to come down, R. Lee would get up there and "show" people his war face.
Indoor wind tunnel parachute thing: perhaps in order to get into the house you have to get in it and shoot yourself up.
The possibilities are endless!!!
--Eric
If installing a moat, bypass the bridge and just hire a scary looking guy like The Undertaker to "ferry" people across.
Indoor waterfall, lazy river, sweet pool and grotto: the waterfall would be in the entry way of the house and the lazy river would spiral throughout, exiting into the backyard and finishing off into another waterfall that spills into a pool. Behind this waterfall is a hot tub, similar to the features of the playboy mansion's grotto
Ghost town with Saloon: saw this on Dale Earnhart Jr's Cribs episode. He had a full on old west "ghost town" complete with a Saloon that had a bar and game room.
Look Out tower w/ R. Lee Ermy: this is based on previous entries. For those who want to protect their property, you can station yourself up there with a paintball gun, cannon, or M16 assault rifle and really keep people off your lawn. When you wanted to come down, R. Lee would get up there and "show" people his war face.
Indoor wind tunnel parachute thing: perhaps in order to get into the house you have to get in it and shoot yourself up.
The possibilities are endless!!!
--Eric
Useless Home Upgrades
So I was thinking to myself, after setting up all of my decorations for the Christmas season, and then watching a neighbors dog piss on one of the oversized christmas lights I have running across the front of my lawn all the while their fucking asshole owner was watching and did nothing...what kind of absolutely over the top home upgrades would I really want to do to my home, but would never happen? I came up with;
(1) install a moat and drawbridge, (2) an electric fence, and I mean the kind that electrocutes you for even THINKING about pissing on it, it would bear the reputation of being "the Jack Bauer of electric fences", (3) a full time sniper on the roof to frickin blow sparky's planted back leg off as he raises the other to piss on anything of mine.
Opinions? -- Joe
(1) install a moat and drawbridge, (2) an electric fence, and I mean the kind that electrocutes you for even THINKING about pissing on it, it would bear the reputation of being "the Jack Bauer of electric fences", (3) a full time sniper on the roof to frickin blow sparky's planted back leg off as he raises the other to piss on anything of mine.
Opinions? -- Joe
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