Friday, October 29, 2010

Elevator Small Talk


I work in an office building, 6 floors. I ride the elevator everyday since I work on the 6th floor. When there are two people in the elevator there always seems to be that obligation to talk. It is usually something stupid like "Whew, its hot out there!" or "Man, only two more days til Friday." I hate those. I know its fucking hot and please, I don't need a count down about what day of the week it is.

So, I sit here pondering...what are great things to say to people in the elevator in order to avoid these lame conversations. Below are a few I came up with...please help me and provide your suggestions.

"Do you mind if I fart?"

"Whew, this heat is causing me some serious swamp ass."

(While talking on my cell) "Bitch, that ain't my kid. I pulled out.  How many times do I have to tell you?"


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