Thursday, January 13, 2011

Useless Home Upgrades

So I was thinking to myself, after setting up all of my decorations for the Christmas season, and then watching a neighbors dog piss on one of the oversized christmas lights I have running across the front of my lawn all the while their fucking asshole owner was watching and did nothing...what kind of absolutely over the top home upgrades would I really want to do to my home, but would never happen? I came up with;
(1) install a moat and drawbridge, (2) an electric fence, and I mean the kind that electrocutes you for even THINKING about pissing on it, it would bear the reputation of being "the Jack Bauer of electric fences", (3) a full time sniper on the roof to frickin blow sparky's planted back leg off as he raises the other to piss on anything of mine.
Opinions?  -- Joe

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